The debate on spirit versus mechanical romance has long been fought between scientists and love gurus. One side describing love as a cluster of chemicals (dopamine, serotonin, ocytocin, etc) released into the brain, causing the physical body to experience a connection with a partner, which could also be described as a sort of short-lived infatuation. The other side insisting there is a spiritual element involved which is more than just a biological experience measured by computers and graphs. While there is no doubt spiritual romance has elements of a chemical nature, there appears to be more to it.
Researchers at the University of New York investigated the idea of mechanical romance, showing a variety of sexually stimulating photos to students, mixing in photos of their current partner. Assuming love is a chemical bond created by stimulation of the visual cortex, researchers predicted brain activity would appear the same for all photos. What they found, was photos of the students partner’s, stimulated a much larger and complex area of the brain, suggesting a much more complex association with love.
One theory is that the brain is capable of perceiving love on many levels, including casual attraction, infatuation (mechanical love), and spiritual romance (true love). If this were true, the pivotal experience we should all aspire to achieve is spiritual love, which by all descriptions is not only longer-lasting and more satisfying, but also more stable than its lesser cousin, mechanical love.
Identifying a Mechanical Romance
Mechanical romance is one of the lowest levels of relationships, and if you find yourself stuck here, you will never experience the true height of what an intimate relationship should be. It’s not that mechanical romance is void of pleasure, as it is still comprised of compassion, sexual chemistry, infatuation, and playfulness, but it is also mixed with a smattering of obsession, jealousy, insecurity, and anxiety. One way to identify this type of relationship, is by its relative hot and cold nature.
Mechanical romance is a roller-coaster of ups and downs, in which both partners are either happy in love, or miserably anxious and jealous. The problem stems from the fact that both couples have not bonded in intimacy, but rather based their expectations on simple, mechanical pleasures.
Research suggests that while men are fully capable of romantic intimacy, they are grounded by the mechanics of their biology. Spirituality has never been pertinent to a man’s survival, as it has for women. Men were designed to do their “duty” and move on, while it was the woman’s responsibility to find a man capable of providing the emotional support to raise a healthy family. But how can you fight biology when a partner is not biologically equipped for this level of commitment?
Fostering a Spiritual Romance
The first thing that every mechanical relationship needs is stability. Both partners must be willing to settle down, knock off the unstable on and off cycles, and focus on building a strong, intimate bond. Some men thrive off instability, because it allows them an easy escape route. Players prefer a relationship to remain in limbo, where intimacy is but a tease to keep their entrapped partner hanging around. If your current partner is avoiding intimacy, there are 10 steps which may help foster a spiritual romance.
- Meditation- Break away from your physical body, and getting in touch with your spiritual plane.
- Emotional Connection- Connect with your partner through hugging, touching, and verbal expression.
- Anti-Infatuation- Don’t fear losing a partner from being apart, spiritual romance needs to breathe.
- Understanding- Experience open communication by offering complete honesty and understanding.
- Informal Appreciation- Relax and be yourself, love is stunted by anxiety.
- Shared Intimacy- Familiarity with each other allows couples to grow together, forming a bond as both individuals and a couple.
- Expressed Vulnerability- Open your life to your partner, love is hindered by defense mechanisms.
- Trust- Share yourself completely without jealousy or fear of being rejected.
- Sacred Apathy- To truly understand a partner, you must experience life through their eyes. A great exercise of this, is to lie with each other taking in each others breath in synchronicity.
- Spiritual Romance- This is the sacred bond between the body and soul. The ultimate in relationship stability.
Not all relationships are salvageable, so if you find yourself hopelessly stuck on an emotional roller-coaster, it might be time to put on the brakes and go your own way!
