Research suggests that men may be the biggest liars in relationships, averaging around 1,090 a year, according to survey. Women, however, are not all that far behind at approximately 728 lies per year. Lies are fundamentally orchestrated to leverage a situation into ones favor, but while some lies may be quite innocent, others are a good bit more deceiving and hurtful. How can you tell the difference?
A white lie is used to protect the feelings of someone. For instance, say your date walks out of their apartment, exclaiming, “How do I look?” Regardless of how much you despise the color pink (which they are wearing from head to toe), you say, “Great!” A hard lie is not so much protecting the feelings someone else, but rather protecting your own interests. An example would be telling a first date you’re divorced, when in fact you’re still married.
Let’s look at the top 20 fibs you will most likely hear throughout your online dating career.
“My wife and I are separated”-
This is a big lie among some married men. Separated can mean many things, but to the liar, it fundamentally means they are out dating other girls, while their wife is at home.
“You were great!”-
Having sex for the first time with a new partner is nerve racking, but many women feel compelled to compliment their partner with a cheering ovation, whether he deserves it or not.
“You do whatever you want”-
This is a form of playing a martyr (victim), in order to get what you want. It rarely works, however, as quite a few people will take this as an open invitation to do exactly that!
“I’m not mad!”-
In the attempts to avoid an unpleasant confrontation, many men and women use this lie, although they’d be better off just sharing their true feelings.
“I didn’t know you called”-
This is rarely the case. When someone delivers this lie, it is usually a sign that you need to back off and give them some room.
“I’m on my way”-
What’s really being said here is, As soon as I am done with whatever I’m doing, I’ll be on my way. Surveys suggest both men and women participate equally in this classic lie as a means of buying time.
“I didn’t forget”-
This is considered a hassle prevention lie, used by men to avoid the punitive damages of forgetting certain key events in their dating/married relationships.
“I didn’t have much to drink”-
This is one of the most common lies between both men and women, and it is used to cover up a drinking problem, which could range from the very minor to the very serious.
“Nothing”-
This lie usually follows the question, “What’s wrong?” This is quite possibly the most emotionally loaded, one word answer you will ever receive in a relationship.
“You always/You never…”-
This lie is meant to bring strength to an argument, but it is a personal attack, inevitably ending with the other person closing themselves off. This phrase essentially reduces the possibility of finding a solution to the problem at hand.
“I’ve been with (X number) of guys”-
Studies show that most women lie about the number of sexual partners they’ve had by about 50 percent. In other words, take whatever answer she gives, multiply by two, and that’s probably a lot closer to the truth.
“She looks great”-
This tactic used by women is a lie hidden within a compliment, designed to remind her man how lucky he is. What’s the lie? Well, according to research, some women say this when they are confident they look better than the person they’re complimenting. In effect, they’re pointing that out to him.
“I trust you”-
According to surveys, one-fifth of women check their partners phone messages and emails without him knowing. One-tenth have actually followed him in a car. This begs the question, How much trust is actually out there?
“I understand”-
Men prefer this lie, rather than facing the awkward discussion of explaining to his partner that he doesn’t always understand her communication style. Men understand action words (kiss, hug, etc), more than they do symbolic inference (love, intimacy, etc).
“I would never cheat”
Studies show 22 percent of monogamous relationships involve at least one partner who is cheating. To make matters worse, of these cheaters, many of the women actually feel entitled to their actions, and therefore experience no guilt while saying these words.
The best way to deal with these lies, is not to participate in them. As John Mayer says, “Say what you need to say…”
Photo via what_u_see_is_not_what_u_get
