Whether it’s falling too quickly, too soon or ignoring blatant signs, people tend to repeat the same dating mistake in every new relationship. By recognizing your faults and adapting your strategy, you can vastly improve your internet dating long-term success rates. Think about if and when you tend to commit any the moves below, then work to revamp your attitude accordingly. You’ll be scoring dates on websites left and right, and more importantly, holding on to them long enough to form meaningful and fulfilling relationships.
1) Setting Expectations Too High—Do you plan your life together after date one? Even if he or she seems perfect, we can guarantee they are not. Instead of dreaming of down the road, focus on the here and now in order to avoid disappointment on date three or four. Head out on first dates with an open mind to avoid cloudy judgment and unnecessary pressure.
2) Being Obsessed with Love at First Sight—Most people who say “it was love at first sight” only mention this in hindsight. The truth is, most relationships need to grow organically before either party can confidently state the they’ve found “the one.” Our eyes often lead our hearts to mistake attraction for compatibility and while it would be nice to lock eyes and then tie the knot, having this Hollywood ending in mind often ensures a bad beginning.
3) Dating on the DL—If you were looking for a job, wouldn’t you reach out to friends, family and former coworkers in an effort to expand the pool? The same should be done with dating. Statistics show that the majority of lasting relationships are actually found through already established connections. While online dating is a great tool, it shouldn’t be the only one in your belt.
4) Having Sex Too Soon—Our concern here is not that he/she will think you’re “easy,” but rather that you’ll miss out on the getting-to-know-you-stage of the relationship. After you’ve become intimate with someone it’s hard to put the car in reverse and talk through seemingly formal, basic questions that are ultimately important in terms of starting a relationship.
5) Falling in Love with a Friend’s Boy/Girlfriend—People in relationships are often extra attractive because they’re more confident than singles and have proven themselves to be a good mate. While they may give you attention from time to time, this will only end in heartbreak and may also cause you to lose a friend. If this is a trend you seem to follow, it’s time to branch out and meet new people. Sometimes the initial pangs of love are more a matter of proximity than actuality.
6) Ignoring Red Flags—At the end of relationships do you find yourself saying, “I should have known when he/she…”? It’s time to start listening to your gut. While small transgressions, like ones regarding fashion, can be ignored, large ones, like learning he/she has been in several abusive relationships should be taken seriously. While it’s easy to think you’ll be the one to change their ways, it’s very unlikely that you will actually break their habits. While red flags aren’t always deal breakers, it’s best to proceed with awareness and be honest with yourself regarding your feelings.
7) Compromise all other Relationships—If you cancel all plans for the month in the hopes that a new love interest will call for a meet up, you’ll ultimately end up anxious and bored. While changing your life to fit another person in it is often necessary, this should not be grand scale and should not occur until well into the relationship, when you’ve established a committed connection. Even if you do end up with the person long term, by putting your nascent relationship first you risk losing current pals that you’ll want back when you realize one person (no matter how amazing) cannot satisfy all your needs.
With a little dedication and a positive outlook, you can break any bad dating habits to increase your chances of finding the relationship you deserve. Remember to be patient with your progress—if changing was easy, we’d all be saints.
