While online dating can be a great tool toward happiness, it can unfortunately also act as a means of destruction. If you’re not careful about who you talk to and how much information you reveal, you could get taken advantage of financially, emotionally and even physically. While most sites have implemented ways to reduce this from happening, there is no way to eradicate con men/women altogether. The best defense is awareness—check out our eight tips below to ensure you’re not the next victim.
1) Delete messages from other countries—Almost all the financial scams out there involve someone outside the United States asking for money to cover living expenses, travel expenses or visa costs. Though Hollywood continues to feed the romantic notion of cross-continent love, starting a relationship with someone overseas may only bring you a cross-continent swindling.
2) Be suspicious of premature professions of love—If a guy or girl says “I love you,” or “I’m falling for you,” in their second message, they’re likely hoping you’ll be the one falling… for their scam. By pulling at your heartstrings from the start, they’re hoping you will feel obligated to pay for them to get a life-saving operation in America or move out of their war-ravaged country to pursue their real dreams (both made-up scenarios, which of course, they’ll say involve you).
3) Beware of seemingly perfect partners—In nearly every internet scam case presented to the U.S. Embassy, the scammer creates a seemingly perfect but fictional person to lure Americans in. In this case, you won’t only lose money, you’ll lose trust and self-esteem upon finding out your “too good to be true” prince or princess was just that.
4) Avoid those who push for your email address right away—Bypassing the double-blind message systems provided by most decent dating sites, is a slippery slope—first they want your email, then your phone number, then your date of birth. Before you know it, they’ll get your social security number and reek havoc on your credit, scarring your identity for years to come.
5) Be on the lookout for written mistakes—Many scammers from other countries claim they are well-educated Americans, but their messages contain grammatical and stylistic errors that seem to demonstrate otherwise. They’re likely using an online translator or simply piecing together vocab they’ve seen in American movies. If it sounds off and the pieces don’t quite fit together, go with your gut and get rid of them.
6) Watch out if they won’t answer personal questions—If expressions of love come constantly but answers about their identity don’t, be very suspicious. Scammers skirt questions because they’re playing a fictional character they haven’t really thought about and don’t care about—they want to get your money as quickly as possible. They know that answering questions will only make you wary, so they hope to kill you with kindness.
7) If the name associated with their profile changes be careful—Once they think someone has found them out, dating site scammers open up new accounts, under new false names. Since they often know little English, they simply copy what was written in their old fictional person’s profile to the new one. Sometimes they will even use the same username and just add a string of numbers at the end.
Avoid those currently living in Russia, Nigeria or Senegal—People from these countries commit a large percentage of all internet scams. The person will probably say they were born in the U.S, England or Australia and that they moved to one of the places above recently, often to volunteer for Unicef or work for The United Nations. We can guarantee you that this person is not the saint they claim to be.
9) Ignore Sob Stories—Scammers often give one, or a combination of, the following accounts: their parents were murdered when they were young, they’re recently widowed and lonely, their child is very sick and may die. If they have enough information on you, they may also try to convince you that a relative of yours suffered a misfortune and is stuck in a foreign country without any money to get home.
10) Listen to your instincts—The majority of people who get scammed later say that they knew something was “off” about the supposed devotee. Don’t take the risk—if you have even a hint of a doubt, stop the relationship before it really starts. A little heartache is better than a life-long headache.
If you run into a scammer, let your dating site know—most sites have a reporting system in place. If the crook gives you an email address, notify their provider (most often Yahoo or Hotmail) and forward any emails you received from the questionable person to that provider.
