A large part of flirting comes from body language and contact. Since dating websites do not allow for either, you have to work extra hard online in letting someone know you’re interested in them. With the hundreds of thousands of swimmers in the dating pool, it’s hard to keep your head above water, let alone become an MVP. To get ahead of the pack, you need to stand out by speaking up. Flirting doesn’t have to be physical—as more and more singles turn to dating websites, virtual flirting is on the up. Instead of brushing up against his arm, compliment a picture in his profile. Replace intense eye contact with an emoticon wink. Or simply trade sending flowers with sending a link. While flirting and the internet may seem incongruous, it’s actually pretty simple… granted you follow the guidelines below.
1) Send Them a Link—Leave a short message with a link to an article about something he or she is interested in. Knowing they’re on your mind will make your potential dating connection feel special. Sending a link shows that you support their interests and gives them an excuse to take a break from their workday.
2) Send a Video Message—Without facial cues and tone, a written message can be misread. Why not be as direct as possible with a video message? When you can’t be face-to-face, this is the next best way to make a lasting impression. Think about what you’ll say beforehand and do a few practice runs. Be sure to show your pearly whites to ensure your guy or gal is smiling on the other end.
3) Don’t Over Emoticon—Sending too many smiley faces will make you look like an overly excited teenager. Use emoticons sparingly on dating websites, only to clarify tone or highlight a double entendre. Keep in mind that both men and women prefer a wink or grin to the standard smile.
4) Avoid Too Much Too Soon—The line between charming and disturbing is very, very thin. A story that’s funny offline, could make you look weird, immature or creepy when told online. Keep things that push the envelope for in-person meetings only.
5) Short, Simple and Sweet—This is not the time to show off your Ivy League vocabulary (you’ll look pompous), spit out inane and off-topic stories (you’ll look boring) or give a play-by-play of your entire life (you’ll look self-absorbed). Dating website communication should be upbeat and to the point (you’ll look interested and focused).
6) Refer to Something in Their Profile—Don’t shoot questions on random topics—target them based on his or her profile. Do they mention they like mountain biking? Ask them when they started or where their favorite trail is. Do they have a lot of pictures of their cat? Compliment its cuteness and ask a question about it. If you can, find something you have in common with them and mention the shared hobby to subtly point out how well you two match up.
7) Avoid Cheesiness—Cliché pickup lines only sound worse written, when they can be read over and over. You’ll look unoriginal and insincere, both major turn offs. Say it in your own words or don’t say it at all.
Avoid Sexual References—You can hint at intimacy, but as soon as you hit on it directly you look like a sleezeball with motives. Chances are, you don’t know him or her well enough to predict their reaction. Plus, without seeing them, you can’t really read the reaction anyway. Save the scandal for a few dates in when you have a better sense of each other and your date knows you well enough to tell flirty from dirty.
Keep in mind that it’s much easier to turn someone off than on. With so many others to choose from online, he or she probably won’t give you a second chance. So, be slightly more conservative and concise than you are in the offline world. You want to spark their interest, not burn your chances.
Photo via azil jamil
