There are tons of sites that report funny tales from the dating website world. What most of these sites don’t do, however, is point out what you can learn from the failures and faux pas of other online daters. Below are summarized (and in some cases combined) stories from various websites, followed by an explanation of the “takeaway” each of them provides. While it’s great to laugh, why not learn and become a better dater simultaneously. Enjoy!
A Romantic Gesture Gone Bad—John thought he’d be the ultimate romantic and send a girl he’d been talking to online some roses for her birthday. Since they weren’t far enough into the relationship to know her address, he looked up her work address and had them sent there. In a sweet gesture, he wrote “A rose for each year of your life” in the card. He tipped the florist and went on his merry way, patting himself on the back for his sly move. Seeing the generous tip, the florist added an extra dozen roses to the bunch on the house. John never heard from his dating website crush again, presumably because she thought he was knocking her age and looks.
The Takeaways: 1) Give your guy or gal gifts in person—it ensures there won’t be any miscommunication and gives them a chance to thank you right then and there. 2) Don’t send a gift to someone you haven’t met in person—it could come off as too forward or even creepy. 3) Despite what Hollywood tells you, don’t send a woman flowers at work. If something goes wrong like the above, it may embarrass her in front of her coworkers. Plus, she may not want everyone asking who they are from when she hasn’t told anyone in the office about her personal life.
Too Aggressive, Too Soon—Samantha was really excited to finally find a handsome, smart, sweet guy through a dating website. She was very nervous on the first date, but things seemed to be off to a great start. Then, she picked up the pace a little too much, by telling her date that she could see them together far into the future. A few more drinks in, she even talked about their potential wedding. By the end of the night, she had them retiring to the Caribbean after a long life of raising the many children they’d have. Not surprisingly, the guy ran.
The Takeaways: 1) Let things develop naturally regardless of how positive you are that they’re “the one” on date one. A bunch of dating website messages does not mean you start further along in the relationship. 2) Don’t over drink—as the intake increases, your control of what you say and how you say it decreases. Your filter and common sense flee and soon after your date follows suit. 3) Relax before a date—going in nervous often sets you up to drink more than you planned, leading to #2 on this list.
A Married Stalker—Amanda, from a small town in upstate NY, met Ben online. He said he lived in a penthouse in Chicago, where he was working in finance. He was going to be in the area for business so they decided to meet up. While Ben seemed a little rougher around the edges than she pictured a finance man to be, she decided she was being too judgmental. He said he was sick of his usual fancy dinners so they went to a local diner. She had an OK time so she decided to give him a chance. One day, while having a video chat, Ben knocked the camera over and Amanda got a glimpse of what was outside his window… it was a building that looked familiar… because it was in her town. Turns out his name was Ron, he worked as a teller at a local bank and was married with children. He had seen Amanda at a coffee shop with a dating website on her screen. He then joined the site in an effort to find her and have an affair.
The Takeaways: 1) Trust your gut instinct. If he or she feels off in some way (like attire or restaurant choice in Amanda’s case) they likely are. 2) Beware of seemingly perfect partners, who are most often people posing as another for financial, emotional or physical gain. 3) If you’re surfing a dating website in public, try to do so facing a wall!
