So you’re finally sitting across from the person you’ve spent the last week with chatting online and on the phone. You dared to hope that meeting someone on a dating website would actually work. You’ve heard success stories from friends and strangers alike, touting the advantages of meeting someone online in this crazed and fast-paced world of ours. You’ve been told countless times, “Technology is definitely the way to go when you’re trying to meet someone these days!”
And here you are. And here he is. And the sad, terrible, awful truth is…he lied. He lied on his profile, he lied with his photograph, he lied when he talked to you on the phone, and now in the moment of truth, you’re hoping he will say something that will explain the obvious. He said he was six foot tall, but he only seems to be two or three inches taller than your five foot four status. He said he was an avid cyclist and worked out all the time, yet his bulging belly certainly belied this fact. He claimed to be at least five years younger than he appeared to be, but maybe he simply wasn’t aging well.
You liked him. He made you smiled. And of course as you got to know him through emails and phone calls, you let your imagination get the best of you. You let your expectations build up and you could barely contain yourself when he agreed to meet in person. And now here he is. Not exactly the guy he claimed to be. So you have a decision to make. You liked his personality enough to meet him. Will that be enough to warrant a second date? Or the fact that he felt he had to lie about his personal appearance, among other things, should be the red flag telling you to run, run, run like the wind! If he lied about his age, his weight, and his workout regiment, what else is he hiding?
It may seem mind-boggling to some of us who really are interested in meeting someone online, that there are people out there who fib like crazy and that have the audacity to actually agree to meet in person. Do they think we’re blind? Do they think we’ve been so dazzled by their fantastic phone demeanor that we’ll let it slide. No. Don’t let this lying thing slide by. Perhaps you might consider giving the guy the benefit of the doubt, but he isn’t getting things off to a very good start if the first few details he tells you are all untruths.
Trust your instincts! The red flag of doubt will be waving wildly so be sure to pay attention to your gut! And confront the guy too. Ask him why he felt he had to lie so adamantly about certain aspects of his physical and/or professional profile. One of two things will happen. He’ll either explain things in such a sincere manner, that you might let him off the hook or agree to one more date. Or, he’ll get defensive, lie some more and you will walk away and never have to see him again. No harm, no foul. It’s the nature of dating. Sometimes they lie. If you’re aware of that, and you don’t raise your expectations to unrealistic levels, you’ll walk away slightly bruised, but definitely all the wiser.
Photo via openyoureyesx
